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My friend from California convinced me to create a Live Journal, so I've decided to discontinue posting to this blog and now I am going to be posting to my live journal (LJ)
Here is the URL: http://soraxdanomi.livejournal.com.
I will never understand the fashion industry. Who on earth would ever want to wear some of those god-awful designs?
Honestly, who wants to look like they are wearing a grain-sack? That seems to be a very popular look nowadays.
'Look very fashionable in your very own grainsack! You don't even have to have a figure because when you wear this kiss whatever figure you once had goodbye!'
Besides..how is she supposed to sit down in this thing? It'll ride right up her thighs if she tries.
Personally I like clothes that make me look like I have a figure.
Anyway, If you are like me you will probably be absoultely tickled by this article I found on msn.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/beautyandfashion/fashionweek/staticslideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=5427922
That's all for now. Just thought I should share my limited opinions.
irritatedO.K after having a lovely (and indignant, on my mother's side anyway) conversation with my mother I don't feel so bad about what happened. The overwhelming feeling of shame that I had on Thursday has faded into something resembling smoldering anger.
Now instead of shame being the main reason I don't want to go to work on Tuesday (yay for Labor Day) anger is.
I am mad at my boss for trying to blame this all on me and for telling me about the incident in the rudest possible way (not to mention the most tactless). I'm mad at him because despite the fact that I have tried numerous times to work things out with him, I am still treated poorly, just in a different way than before.
I will put this bluntly and without regard to sensitive ears. I apologize in advance.
My boss is an asshole and a jerk. I don't want to go back to work because I don't want to have to be stuck in a room with him. I don't want to have to deal with him and his tactless behavior. The company I work for may be the best company I have worked for, but my boss is the worst boss I've ever had. Never before have I ever had a manager who has made me cry on numerous occasions because he has said something without regards to how I will take it. He is at a loss as to how to treat me properly so he keeps treating me different from everyone else in that damn room and that is the opposite of what I want. I want him to treat me the same as everyone else. Whenever he needs to talk to me he takes me out of the room I work in with his team lead in tow like a faithful little puppy. When he needs to talk to everyone else he talks to them right there in the room. I want him to stop pulling me out of the room unless it is something official, like a write-up or a yearly review. HE CONDUCTED AN EMPLOYEE'S YEARLY REVIEW RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. He is such a stupid stupid man I want to smack him every time he opens his mouth or does something unprofessional.
I don't want to have to deal with him anymore. I am so fed up with him and his stupid and unprofessional manner that I just want him to go away. He is a blundering idiot who has no idea what he is doing. The only thing he has going for him is he can get copy jobs done quickly, faster than anyone else really. He should never have been made a manager. He has no people skills at all.
As you can tell, incompetence is one of my pet peeves. I cannot stand people who have been given a job or a position they are not suited for. I want to scream I am so frustrated.
On another note:
I re-vamped the site today. The layout has changed and the links that no longer work have been removed. I updated my personal information as well.
And on an even happier note:
I have started doing Pilates (via DVD) again. After finding out from the scale I bought that my body fat % was 30.8 (hangs her head in shame) I decided I should get started before it was too late to make any drastic changes before my wedding. I WILL NOT BE FLABBY AT MY WEDDING!!! -takes a deep breath- Anyway I am happy to report that I weighed myself again today and I lost .3 % of my fat. That was the day after my first session. I think I am going to continue with it and see how far it takes me.
Now I just have to figure out what to do about Mr. Ass-hat...-_-
downI'm not really too sure what to do about my job situation at the moment. We have hit a major snag and I think I may have to quit because of it.
I know this may sound childish and probably foolish but this is how it is. I'll try and explain my feelings as best I can.
Ever since I started my job last October the one thing I have loved about it is the fact that my boss lets us read/surf the internet/do homework/listen to our mp3 players if we have nothing else to do. Throughout my entire time there the one thing that helped me deal with being ignored/treated badly was the fact that if things got too bad I could bury my nose in a book and forget my troubles. It provided me an escape from the day to day issues that would arrise from being the only female in a room full of chovinistic pigs. (most of them anyway) Frequently when I would try and talk I would either be flat-out ignored or my boss would say something to whatever I said in an attempt to make me look stupid.
So when that would happen I would take solstice in the fact that I had a book near at hand that I could easily fall into. It helped me remain calm.
I don't know if this next part is my fault or what but I feel ashamed and confused. So ashamed in fact that I have begun looking for another job because I do not want to show my face in that room again.
Earlier this week we had some new copiers installed in the firm I work at. I have recently been doing research for our honeymoon and was doing that with the aid of a guide to the Caribbean for the majority of the time while the tech guy from our company was in town helping with the installation process. (He normally works in Arizona) I figured there wasn't any harm in it since I was highlighting and for all he knew I could have been doing homework. On Tuesday when he finally asked me about it I told him I was doing research for my honeymoon and he seemed interested and o.k with the concept.
The day after he left and went back to AZ my boss takes me aside and tells me that because Jim saw ME reading a book Tom (my boss' boss) chewed him out and now we are no longer allowed to have read/do homework/have personal computers at work. If he even sees a book he will write me (or anyone) up and if it continues he will fire us.
So now I feel like shit because he is blaming this on me when it wasn't just me, one of my co-workers was doing homework while Jim was there too. And he probably blamed it on me when he explained it to everyone else too. And that's probably the worst aspect of this...I was finally starting to get slong with my co-workers and then this happens and now they probably all resent me.
I don't see what the problem is. The secretary's in the firm are allowed to read when they have nothing else to do. They are allowed to surf the internet when they have nothing to do. And why is there a problem with doing homework when you have nothing else to do..especially since my work offers Tuition reimbursement. I want to try and appeal this but I know if I try I'll probably be fired. It's so very frustrating. I don't want to quit because I have friends in the firm that I am very unwilling to leave behind. But I feel that without something to do that allows me to escape from the emotional and mental stress I am under when I am in there that I can't continue to work there. It will be too stressful.
I broke down in tears today because I was so miserable. I don't want to have to go to work and cry every day.
I don't know what to do..and I wish I didn't feel like it was all my fault...
It may just be me, and I may be getting worked up over nothing, but I feel as if we have hit some speed bumps in the wedding plans (again lol)
I received in the mail earlier this week what I thought was the proof for my napkins. It came with a note from my wedding helper that these were a sample and the rest are waiting at the reception area for me. I'm like 'uh...so what happens if I don't like these?'
I haven't talked to her about it yet because I mailed them off to my mom to see what she thought. But I'm not certain that I like the size of the Claddagh. I takes up most of the napkin and it's the first thing the eyes find because it's so big. I was told when we were getting things worked out that the company that makes the napkins and the invitations only had one 'stamp' size for the claddagh. And the napkins read:
Sora and Canthor
June __, 2008
(Yes, the date is actually on the napkins as well as our real names, but I'm not posting them online in a public blog.)
I'm not sure if I want our last names on the napkins as well. I really wish she hadn't ordered them without letting me proof them first...I'm going to make certain she understands that we are not paying for the invitations unless we see a proof first.
Then there is the photographer's that they employ...I don't like them. The only examples I have gotten to see of their work don't have any artistic feel to them. They look like something a relative would take and that isn't what I am looking for in a photographer. Plus they do not give you the negatives of your photo's. If you want more of them you have to go through them and pay even more money..><;
I have found two photographers that I like. One of which I have approached about taking pictures at our wedding. Both of them give the Digital Negatives of your photo's, but one is kinda expensive.
http://www.amandabillsphotography.com <- this is the one I approached
http://www.rozephotography.com <-- this is the expensive one.
I don't know if I am subconciously creating all these little problems or if they are actually there.
Oh and a couple of nights ago I got to thinking and I realized that I really would like Nai to come to my wedding but at this point I think our friendship is way past the point where we can very be close friends again. I want her to be able to come and share in my happyness, but I am afraid of being called a hypocrite. It could just be my desire to have more than just family there. I don't have very many friends anymore and the week of our wedding is the same week as all of canthor's friends are going to be out of town. I want friends to be able to share my happiness with, not just my family..no offense to them. This could also be spurred by the fact that I was going through a bunch of my old word documents trying to figure out which ones I could delete and I read a couple of our old IM Conversations which brought back memories of happier times in our relationship.
Oh well, you can't change the past.
Web news:
Yesterday I went through and edited a bunch of stuff in this blog as well as deleted a couple of posts.
Life News:
I have finally figured out what I want to do for a living. I want to do artwork for book covers and maybe illustrate some children's books. That being said I've decided to get a degree in Visual Art and Design with an emphasis in Illustration. Basically I want to be like Jody Lee. : ) she does all the cover art for Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar novels. (Probably her other novels as well, but I don't know for sure.)
My mother paid a visit to me this last weekend and we went to go meet with my wedding co-ordinator. It wasn't a complete disaster, but it wasn't heavenly either. My wedding coordinator that was assigned to me by the reception center I am going to be getting married in is a really nice young lady. Unfortunately she cannot do as good of a job as we would like her to simply because she is under restraints as to what she is allowed to do and what she is not. Example: I can get you a quote for the cake but I cannot get you a sample to taste test. Maybe if there was left-over wedding cake from one of the other weddings...(that last sentence is an exact quote by the way.) If my mother and I want to taste test the cake we are plan on paying almost 300.00 for we have to find out where the cake is made (she wasn't able to tell us that either, simply because she didn't know the address.) and go to the person who makes it ourselves and ask for a taste test. I think that is ridiculous. They should be able to obtain a sample for us. I am beginning to think that the title of 'wedding coordinator' is simply no more than a fancy way of saying 'you will be assigned an employee who is only allowed to discuss with you the things we provide directly. Anything else you need or want to do will be up to you to do it. We cannot help you.'
That, in my opinion, is false advertising. I wish that they were able to help us out more. My mother thinks we may need a wedding co-ordinator to help us with our wedding co-ordinator. As silly as that may seem, I'm wondering if she isn't right.
There was also the fact that the man who sat with us to go over the contract with us (aka the owner) told us when we signed the contract that he would check on a time issue we were having. You see, when we first picked our date, we wanted to have it in the morning. Less time to sit around with butterfly's in our stomachs that way. However there was an issue. Another bride had reserved the garden at 1:00pm in the afternoon for her wedding and then she was going to have her reception on the other side of the building in the evening. But because she chose to have her ceremony in the garden so early, that would cut into the tail-end of my reception so we couldn't book the garden in the morning. The owner told us when we signed our contract that he would check on the issue and see if she couldn't move her ceremony to the same side of the building as her reception. However when we got there on Saturday he gave us this blank look that said 'why are you asking me?’ My mother pointed out a clause that she found in the contract that stated: if a bride is going to rent out the garden for her ceremony it cannot be held until after 2pm. My mother pointed that out to him and he muttered something about it being a 'special case'. Now forgive me for sounding self-important...but shouldn't every bride that comes through their center be considered special? In the end he shoved it off on the employee that was helping us and she was told to contact the employee that was handling the other bride. If it wasn't for their damn garden I would have found myself another reception center by now actually...
However, the visit was not all bad. I finally got my colors decided on and a symbol that will be present on the napkins, invitations, and the wedding favors. I chose to use the Claddaugh. It's the Gaelic symbol for Loyalty, Love, and Friendship. (At least I think it is anyway.) I may be wrong. The colors are Navy blue for Canthor and Hunter Green for me. (Yes, I did away with the no green rule) the third color is creme. I think they will look very nice together.
My mother is making my dress still. The trip to David’s bridal turned from a 'do I want to buy a dress?' to a 'quick mom, memorize how they put it together before the attendant comes back!' trip. ^^
Canthor and I also went to MT to visit with the two relatives of mine that he hasn't met yet. I had a wonderful time there.
Also this weekend I got a laptop. It was an early birthday present from my mom and dad. It is an Acer Aspire 5920. It works very well. I like it allot. ^^
So that's basically it for now. I'll write more in a while.
I don't know if any other brides-to-be have this same problem...but I was originally going to have my mother make my wedding dress, but yesterday I went to a wedding dress website to see what kind of shoes they had and if any of them would match what we were making and I wandered into the wedding dress section. ><;
Now I'm having second thoughts.
It's not that I don't trust my mother, and it's not that I don't believe in her sewing abilities...I'm just feeling self-consious about what I chose to begin with. I don't want it to appear that I am wearing a halloween costume and if Canthor is going to be in a tuxedo, and everyone else is going to be wearing nice clothing, then I will feel out of place. I don't want to be embarassed with what I am wearing on my wedding day.
Originally, I had said no green. And then I decided my whole wedding dress was going to be green...but, now I'm thinking of switching back to the no green rule. Besides, Canthor doesn't like the color green much and I should probably think about what he would want too. . . But the only green he'd be wearing would be a tie...and he doesn't look that bad in it...I don't know.
I wonder if all brides go through this stage of starting out wanting one thing and then abruptly deciding on something completely different.
On the plus side, I have started to make definite plans. I know where I want to get married, I know a closer time of when than I have before, and I have a place and a time set for the engagement dinner with Canthor's family.
I'm still going to go with the Irish/Celtic theme to the wedding though, that is not changing.
On a different note:
I'm still working at the place I said I would probably quit. Canthor has pretty much gotten the job at the post office, but I have yet to receive a phone call. lol I suck. A day or two after I posted on here about how miserable I was, one of my co-workers ran intervention and told my boss to talk to me. So we talked and got things sort of hashed out. He knew at the end exactly how miserable I had been and he apologized profusely.
I remember back in February, when they were looking for another person to work hospitality and I didn't jump on the job. Afterwards I was kicking myself in the ass about it because I was miserable. So, as it turns out the girl they hired is moving back to her home state and the position is opening up again. I've already expressed interest in it twice, and I'll keep expressing intrest in it, until my manager posts the position on the internet. Then I'm going to fill out the application for it. Basically I've already learned the skills needed for the positon. I learned those at Office Depot. I want that positon because the people who work in that department get a cubicle all to themselves where they are not supervised and are not surrounded by testosterone filled men...-_-;
I won't feel guilty about reading my book when I'm down in the cubicle because I'll be doign a quiet activity and I won't be disturbing any of the attorney's or the paralegals.
AND...no uniform. I can wear my own clothes :D
I'm going to try for the position and if I don't get it, I'll see what else I can do.
I have a picture to share with you. Here it is.
This is a picture of what I made for dinner, before I cooked it. (As you can tell by the raw chicken) I figured this was a safe picture to put up here since you can't see me and all it shows is food.
Anyway, this was the beginning of my Chicken and Dumplings that I made for dinner tonight. It turned out really good. Although the dumplings scared Canthor and he refused to eat them...-_-; There wasn't anything wrong with them, he'd just never had them before and they looked wierd to him.
Canthor and I went to a fabric store today to buy fabric because I wanted to make court garb and he wanted to make a cloak to use when he's playing amtgard. We ended up spending 180.00 on fabric for both of us...><; (Although we only paid 130.00 because I had a gift certificate left over from christmas.) The skirt portion of my court garb cost me almost 60.00 by itself...><; I wanted to get a pattern that would challenge my abilities as a seamtress, and I think this one will. I'm looking forward to retrieving my sewing machine from the people we let borrow it so that I can get to work on my project. : )
Oh, and Canthor and I did go take the test for USPS on Saturday morning. It wasn't that hard, and even though it may be a boring job, I'd rather have a boring job than an emotionally and mentally stressful one. (Another bonus: It's closer to where I live than where I work now) We have to wait up to 3 weeks before we'll get our results...><; If we pass we should be called in to take a typing test and if we pass that we might be hired. I hope we both passed.
Anyway...I was bored and didn't really have anything else to do atm...so I decided to post on here.
Canthor and I went to see one of the first showings of Pirates 3 last night and overall the experience was fairly pleasant. Much more so than when we went to go see Harry Potter 4. We waited in line with 3 other people for 12 hours for that one. ><; Granted we were 3rd in line, but still.
Anyway, Canthor was kind enough to go to the theatre and get in line at about 4:30pm. I was talking to the only other women that I work with yesterday, and when I told them that my boss, who is like ten feet away and isn't even part of the conversation, pipes up and says "You'll never get a good seat if you go that late." I have been having problems with him as of late, and he doesn't seem to know when to keep his mouth shut. I wasn't even talking to him so he shouldn't have said anything. But anyway, Canthor went there at 4:30pm and and was second in line, so that shows how much my boss knows...-_-; I didn't say anything to him about it though, I felt that it would be rude to shove his own stupidity in his face.
I got there at about 6:40pm and even though the lines for food were long, they weren't overly frustrating. It took me 25 mins to get my food. O.o. None of the people sitting behind us were loud or noisy, and the couple sitting next to us was very nice. So overall it was a good experience.
Warning: The next couple of paragraphs have spoilers in it. Mind you, they are minor, but if you don't want to know anything scroll to where it is safe. (I changed the text to white, to make it harder to spoil. Highlight the text if you want to see it.)
The movie in and of itself was....odd. Jack was halucinating in half the scene's he was in, admittedly, most of his hallucinations were quite amusing but one was slightly disturbing...it involved his brain. It was odd, there was a lot of violence, but there was comedy placed in the violence, probably to take away some of the shock of it. The movie opened with a mass hanging, and in one of the first scene's a woman was shot in the head. About 3 or 4 people were run through with swords, although those scene's were remarkably blood-free. There was one scene that involved a frozen foot that made the whole theatre give a collective shudder.
It took me most of the morning to figure out if I liked it or not. I guess in the end I did like it, but there was some stuff that was just plain corny and through most of the movie I was confused. I was like "What, when did this happen?" then I'd have to think for a moment and then I'd remember when something they were talking about happened. There weren't any dismembered parts like there was in the second movie, but overall I'd beware of taking children under the age of 14 to see this unless the parents have preveiwed it first and approve it for their child. There was also some things that I perceived to be sexual references....(i,e my telescope is longer than yours) ect. I'm not trying to sound like an overly protective mother...I don't have kids, but I get frustrated when parents allow their children to see things that are not appropriate for their age. Like when people took their 5 year olds to see Spiderman 3. It's rated PG-13 for a reason....-_-;
So, overall, yes I liked the movie, but it's not something I'd take my children to see....if I had children...now...Ratatouille on the other hand...:D
Spoiler-end zone.
I think I'm going to be quitting my job here pretty soon. I can't stand working here anymore and I'm sick and tired of being treated like crap by my manager. Everytime I open my mouth he says something in an attempt to make me look like an idiot. Most of the time he's the one who looks like an idiot, even if he doesn't realize it. Example: We have a fax log that we have to write down the time faxes come in, who they are addressed to, how many pages they have, who they are from, what time they go out, and who they went to. There have been numerous occasions where my boss has done the faxes and he won't write down the time that they come in and go out, so I figured it'll save me time and since he's not doing it then it'll be ok if I don't either. So today he told me that he needs me to write down the times because otherwise we can't track the faxes. It took all my will-power not to say a word. I didn't say one word...just picked up my things and went to lunch. But before I went to lunch I turned to a page in the log in which he had done exactly what he just told me not to do, drew an arrow on the page pointing to the infraction, and left. I don't know if he found it or not, but before I quit I'm going to contact the H.R Generalist (who I have spoken to before about this problem) and my bosses boss. Both of whom listen to me and seem to care about what I say and how I feel which is more than I can say for Darin. Canthor is going to be taking a test to work at USPS tomorrow and I'm going to join him. No uniform and 12.63/hour, which is about 4 dollars more than I'm getting now and I don't have to wear this ungodly polo shirt which is too big for me and makes me look fat. It's taken me 8 months to find something that looks nice over this thing...-_-; I'm going to make a list of everything I can remember about how I've been treated while I'm here and report everything, hopefully they will take some kind of action. Send him off to a managers course or something...
I'm planning on doing all this before I quit so they will take me seriously, and won't just blow me off since I'm no longer an employee.
I knew there was more than this that I wanted to say but I can't remember it now, maybe I'll update later, but for now the Court Notices are yelling at me...they want me to send them...><; I hate them.
Ok, so SW5 is offically over and I was just as miserable this year as I was last year. I thought this year would be different because I wasn't finding little dark corners to cry in because I thought I was pregnant. (All the signs pointed to it too.) I had my book to read, I had my ipod to listen to, I had my camera. You'd think I'd be happy...alas...no.
The reason I was unhappy this year was because Canthor was able to hang out with his friends (which he did...lol more so than with me, but I'm not going to be-grudge him that.) But I was not. Jeriah and I now have a tentitive friendship going again...well, at least we are talking again. However Nai and Gentich want nothing to do with me and will blatently ignore me if I am sitting in the same group they are. (I don't really blame them, but they don't have to be so obvious about ignoring me.)
See, this is how it works, my friends at amtgard include Daenen, Sev, Canthor, Jeriah, Alicia, Dread, Nikki, Pavia and Oldor (their children don't really talk to me, but that's ok.) However, Daenen, Sev, Jeriah and Canthor hang out with Genitch and Nai. So if Genitch and Nai are hanging out with any of my other friends, I am excluded, because they don't want me there. They will blatently ignore me until I go away or they find an oppertunity to leave...taking my friends with them.
Throughout all of SW, this was making me mad. I didn't want to take Canthor away from his friends, because I know he doesn't get to see them very often but I wanted to be able to hang out with my friends too. However, I didn't want to go over there and create an uncomfortable situation with my very presence.
So I stayed away and tried to read my book. But I found myself continuously looking over in their direction (and Canthor's) because I was hoping one of them would come over and ask me if I wanted to sit by them. It never happened. Obviously.
There were times when I got to talk to my friends when Nai and Genitch were not around, but for the majority of SW, I was left to myself. At least last year I had friends I could talk to about what was bothering me, but this year the only person I had to talk to was Canthor and he was off with his friends most of the time.
I need more close friends. Either that or Genitch and Nai need to stop being childish by blatently ignoring me when I am in a group and stop excluding me from my other friends. They may think that they have cause to be mad at me, but I am not sorry for what I wrote to Nai and will not apologize for it because everything that I said was justified. Besides, even if I did apologize they wouldn't stop ignoring me.
I'm quite frustrated at the moment. As I was all weekend. But at least I got time off from work.
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